Santa these nuts!: Archive

Apr 1st

7,704 notes

Mar 31st

86 notes

Mar 31st

6,958 notes

1 tag

Not going to lie, I’m really lonely.

Mar 30th

2 notes

2 tags

Mar 30th

470 notes

saticoy asked: you make me smile

Mar 30th

2 notes

7 tags

Mar 30th

29 notes

Don’t talk to me about alcohol. Ever.

Mar 30th

1 note

1 tag

I CAN LIVE WITH THAT

x

Mar 29th

1 note

Mar 29th

Mar 28th

79 notes

Mar 28th

117 notes

3 tags

Mar 28th

117 notes

1 tag

Mar 28th

204 notes

Mar 28th

2 notes

Mar 28th

264 notes

1 tag

Isabela, your birthday was seriously the first thing I wrote down :*

Mar 28th

2 notes

EMERGENCY EMERGENCY

EMERGENCYYYY anything happening in April?

Mar 28th

1 note

1 tag

Oh cruel fate I have become the one who prepares the chicken ramen For someone else .____.

Mar 28th

2 notes

1 tag

Watch

VERBAL STAND OFF

Mar 28th

1 note

Mar 28th

1 note

1 tag

Pumpkin report

She’s still all tubby and apparently she sits up if you hold her. And grandma has her in her clutches, I mean arms, so no more piccus or vids for a while.

Mar 28th

1 note

2 tags

Watch

MUR NURME URS PURMPKURN URND UR LURKE TO HWIDOFBWOEXBDOWF

Mar 27th

1 note

2 tags

Noctourniquet

Noctourniquet heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mar 27th

4 tags

Mar 27th

189 notes

2 tags

hidethemilk replied to your audio post: Izzy, I tried omg what she asked me to try to do the prince’s voice from the Disney Housewives thing, and I have failed her

Mar 27th

2 tags

Izzy, I tried

Mar 27th

2 notes

1 tag

Mar 27th

24 notes

4 tags

Mar 27th

261 notes

6 tags

Mar 27th

55 notes

1 tag

hidethemilk replied to your post: TMI Tuesday yeah? ALICKY HICKEEEYYYY SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mar 27th

1 note

1 tag

giantalbinowalrus replied to your post: TMI Tuesday yeah? >8| BE MAD BOO BERRY I am immune to everything after discovering my mom saw them and talking about them with my brother .___.

Mar 27th

3 tags

TMI Tuesday yeah?

My hickies faded enough so that I can wear regular shirts and no sweater :’D

Mar 27th

4 notes

OH MY GOD I’M BECOMING DOMESTICATED Before I even took off my work clothes and bra, I cleaned my bathroom and ran a load of laundry and now I’m looking for the vacuum cleaner. Why.

Mar 27th

3 notes

1 tag

Mar 27th

111 notes

1 tag

Mar 27th

75 notes

1 tag

Mar 27th

57,353 notes

2 tags

Mar 27th

28 notes

5 tags

Listen

Mar 27th

7 notes

the-vashta-nerada: just press play and watch the...

Mar 27th

235,377 notes

6 tags

Mar 27th

6,115 notes

7 tags

Mar 27th

10 notes

1 tag

Mar 27th

1 note

Mar 26th

772 notes

Mar 26th

60,107 notes

Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because.  Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN.  You can buy condoms by the dozens.  Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure."  Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours.  Here, try these.  They have ribs on them.  And this one glows in the dark!!  LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!  
Government: But seriously, you're a man.  You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.

Mar 26th

82,858 notes

Kix cereal: it’s a punch in the nuts!

Mar 25th

2 tags

Mar 24th

5,820 notes

Mar 24th

3 notes